Thoughts about Jews and Christmas

Originally posted on December 25, 2025

In 2010, during her confirmation hearings to become a justice on the U.S.

Supreme Court, in a particularly contentious moment, Elena Kagan was asked by

Senator Lindsey Graham what she was doing on a particular Christmas Day under

discussion, to which she replied: “You know, like all Jews, I was probably at a Chinese restaurant.”

Christmas presents an unusual challenge for many Jews, and, no doubt for other

non-Christians, each year since it is observed both as a religious holiday for Christians as well as a Federal holiday for all Americans. It provides a day off for many but also a challenge since so many businesses, including most restaurants, are closed for the holiday. Kagan’s remark hit a familiar spot with many Jews who find themselves celebrating the Christian holiday in typical Jewish fashion, eating Asian food of some variety.

Going back to the Mishnah, we find in the tractate of Avodah Zarah which deals

with idolatry, (literally “strange worship”) the opening text, “For three days prior to the festivals of gentiles it is prohibited to do business with them.” It appears that this

prohibition was instituted by the ancient rabbis to prevent Jews from inadvertently

contributing to the idolatrous worship of their neighbors, by selling animals or other

items to them to be offered as sacrifices to their gods. Most later authorities do not

apply such restrictions to Christians who are not to be considered idol worshipers.

Thus, people in my family, including my uncles, my mother’s brothers, who had a big supermarket in its day and my father who ran a gourmet cheese shop, were not

prevented from supplying the food for holiday parties or the gift baskets that were sent out in celebration of this season to their many Christian customers. In fact, they looked forward to this holiday to offset the quiet days later in the winter when few customers ventured out to their stores. This was their season and as a teenager I delivered countless gift boxes and baskets for my Dad to customers throughout the area. Of course, on Christmas day, they all took the day off after several very busy weeks of commerce. Since all the stores were closed on that day, my mother’s family always got together on Christmas day at my Aunt Esther’s and Uncle Morris’s house where my grandmother also lived, and we had a big holiday Chanukah/Christmas meal and enjoyed each other’s company.

After exchanging presents, the men played cards in the dining room while the women went into the living room and caught up on the latest family news. My cousin Sandi, who was ten years older than I, would sit down at the piano and pound out all of the seasonal melodies. We kids all stood around her and sang along to such classics as “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” and “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas,” along with many of the traditional Christmas carols. This holiday get together had no religious significance to us

but was simply a fun celebration for the family each year. None of us converted to

Christianity after singing those hymns and most of my cousins have grown up to

become active participants and even leaders in their Jewish communities. (Sandi, for

example, was on the National Hadassah Board and two other cousins now keep kosher homes.)

Whenever Chanukah fell during the month, be it early or late, at home we would

light the candles each night and then expect a present of some kind every evening after the candle lighting. That did not, however, keep Santa from showing up on Christmas Eve and, since we had no tree, leaving some more impressive gifts for us to find in the living room the next morning under the baby grand piano or the end tables next to the sofa. Shortly after opening the gifts, we would get dressed and head next door to the Wignalls, to watch them open their presents. They always had a little something under their tree for us and some holiday treats to share. It was an annual tradition. I still hear from their older daughter, my first babysitter, each year at this season.

There were a half dozen Jewish families on our street, back in the ‘50s and early

‘60s. We kids were maybe 25 baby boomers in total of all ages and backgrounds, but

we played together on our dead-end street, Catholics, Protestants, and Jews. There

was base-kick as we called it, hide-and-go-seek, tag, SPUD, and a variety of other

games during the warm weather and in the winter, we built snow forts and snow men or went ice-skating on a nearby pond. We refought World War II (Jimmy was always a Marine like his dad); we put on dishtowels to fly like Superman in the backyard off the retaining wall, and as we got a little older we created productions for our parents at the annual neighborhood spaghetti supper. Our backyard was filled with an assortment of outdoor equipment: swings, see-saw, sandbox, and a whirl-a-gig and a clubhouse that doubled as a storage shed for bicycles, scooters, and wagons. I have wonderful memories of that neighborhood and, though I became increasingly involved in synagogue life, I always felt part of the group and developed an affinity to interfaith connections. Occasionally we compared religious traditions. I do not recall experiencing any kind of discrimination because of my religion growing up. If anything, there might have been some curiosity about one ritual or another. I inspected my buddy’s catechism book that he was supposed to learn, and he tried to figure out the Hebrew in my prayerbook. I raced the girl across the street with my recital of the V’ahavta, but she always finished the Lord’s Prayer ahead of me.

I realize, of course, that not everyone had similar positive experiences. Too often

through the ages, Jews suffered persecution, discrimination, and violence at the hands of those who instead of following the teachings of their tradition urging love of neighbor, were more interested in attacking those who did not accept their religious beliefs and adhered to a different religion.

In the Shulchan Aruch, the 16th century compendium of Jewish law, Rabbi Yosef

Karo enumerates in the section of Yoreh Deah, all sorts of laws in detail against

fraternizing with idolaters as described in the Talmudic tractate of Avodah Zarah.

However, toward the end of chapter 148, we find this interesting disclaimer. “Some say that all of these things we have enumerated refer only to earlier times of paganism. Nowadays, they (the gentiles) are no longer practicing paganism and therefore it is permitted to do business with them on their holidays and to lend to them and all other such things.” To this, the glossator, Rabbi Moshe Isserles, adds: “Even if one gives money to their priests, they do not use it to buy sacrificial offerings to their gods, rather they eat and drink with it. Besides, it is considered an insult to them if we separate ourselves from them on their holidays since we live among them and we need to do business with them all year long. Therefore, if one enters the city and finds them celebrating on their holiday, rejoice with them to avoid insult and you may even send them gifts."

Though no doubt there were interfaith friendships in the past, this passage

sound more like practical advice to “go along in order to get along.” This cautious approach in communities where Jews and gentiles lived together for the most part in harmonious relations, seems more a matter of practicality rather than actual sharing of the joy of their holidays. In other places, we know, Jews were not

treated as well and felt a need to make themselves scarce on these festive days. Often

the peasants in these towns and villages would overindulge in drink and go out to

harass and attack their Jewish neighbors. A tradition grew up in some circles of

observing “Nitel Nacht,” the name given to Christmas, perhaps derived from “natale.”

On that night, the beit midrash, the study hall would be closed and at least early in the evening when people might still be on the streets, scholars would refrain from Torah study and find other pursuits. There is a famous photo of the Lubavitcher Rebbe playing chess with his father-in-law, the previous rebbe, on Nitel Nacht. Other folks played cards that one night of the year. I’ve also heard that people who avoid tearing toilet paper on shabbat, might spend the evening tearing strips for use during the year ahead.

Another response, as we know, for many people who have children, Chanukah

becomes supercharged and parents try to make it like a Jewish version of Christmas.

There may be decorations, and colored lights, many presents, parties and community

celebrations and even some Chanukah carols. Tom Lehrer was spending “Chanukah in Santa Monica” while Adam Sandler is busy sorting out the Jews from the non-Jews

among American celebrities in his Chanukah Song. Strangely enough, most of the

familiar popular Christmas songs were written by Jewish composers. When it came time to decorate a holiday tree in our public schools, the Jewish kids always rushed forward to put on the lights and tinsel first since they didn’t have that opportunity in their own homes. In more recent times, with the rise of intermarriage among Jews and Christians, whether or not the children are raised in one of the two traditions, there may often be a bit of Christmas and Chanukah mingled in the home. This becomes just a natural part of the season. Though I know of some interfaith couples who have to have annual discussions with grandparents as to which holiday to celebrate with their grandchildren.

As a religion major in college, I always found different traditions intriguing and

enjoyed meeting and learning from my colleagues in the various communities I’ve

served. I’ve attended conferences and spoken on panels on various topics with my

Christian colleagues. I’ve chaired local organizations and for years I’ve been involved in planning our Interfaith Institute for laypeople and clergy down in North Carolina. We’ve encouraged guests to come to the synagogue, to share in our celebrations, and to participate in life cycle events: bar or bat mitzvahs, weddings, brisses, and funerals as well. We’ve invited guests to Purim celebrations, Passover seders, Shabbat dinners and other events. I’ve attended Christmas parties with other chaplains and iftar meals at local mosques. I’ve spoken from the pulpit in some churches in the past and there was a time when it seemed like every church had to have me run a Passover seder for them even if Jesus’s Last Supper was very different from modern day Passover meals.

In an era where once again we are experiencing a rise in antisemitism and other forms of prejudice against people of different groups and religions, I think it is very important to share with our neighbors our holidays and traditions and encourage people to know more about one another and come to recognize how much we hold in common and to respect and appreciate those differences which make our traditions unique.

I am happy to see guests in the Temple coming to learn about Judaism, to

worship with us if they are so inclined, and to share in our traditions. Though certain

rituals may be limited to those who are actually Jewish, we try to include non-Jewish

partners, our synagogue supporters, and various students and visitors in our activities to the extent they wish to be involved. Though we are happy to instruct those who seek conversion in the details of our faith, throughout our history we have generally discouraged active proselytizing. There is not an urgent need to convert people to our faith from a theological perspective. The sages tell us that “the righteous of all nations have a place in the world to come.”

At this winter season of darkness and cold, we join together with our neighbors in

our respective traditions to bring the light and warmth of our varied holidays celebrations to a troubled world. “Peace on earth, goodwill to all people,” seems like a goal we all can embrace. Sharing holiday music, traditional foods, and celebrations when done in friendship and with mutual respect are to be encouraged and we hope might help us all to live the words we pray.

Happy Holidays to all!